At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
