I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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