You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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