Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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