WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
