he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
