I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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