sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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