summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots