Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.