Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.