Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend