You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize