just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dick very happy bro
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
