i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
