just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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