Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dick very happy bro
A+ Viking dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
