Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
