just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize