Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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