the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
