Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
