Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
