i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
