hotel room ftw
I'm lost and stupid without you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We need to get me chipped asap
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
