So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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