He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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