Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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