oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
