It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
