Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You ruined the universe
Randomize
