omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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