She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He better not be in your backpack
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
