We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
