Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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