apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
