wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize