Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
