I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My vagina just clenched in fear
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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