its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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