I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
