I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
