Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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