I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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