dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize