no, he came in my armpit
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
