ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
