A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
