Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
