Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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