Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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