you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
