you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
