Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
