the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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