so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize