Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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