he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
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i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hippo gnu deer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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