It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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