If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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