Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
